Have you ever heard the secret love song? Does it ring a bell? Little mix’s “why can’t I hold you in the street, why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor?” Well, if you do, you are probably the cheater or the cheated, either way this article is for you as we will discuss how to handle cheating spouse.
In a research conducted in terms of how to handle cheating, it is believed that couples usually cope up with the trauma of an affair based solely on many personal factors such as but not limited to, their cultural background, their religious values and their personal developments as individuals.
But how can one person handle cheating?
For many people, in an article by http://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/infidelity, cheating is handled through many ways, such as through understanding different sorts of infidelity and finding better ways to cure these trauma since the type of infidelity is identified.
The types of infidelity are such as ;
This has something to do with sending flirty messages online or even just by chatting someone first and initiating flirty chats
This can be a mistake that your spouse has done once and he didn’t really intend it, maybe alcohol or other factors has got in the way.
This is a personal choice of your spouse to pursue someone in hopes that they will feel the love they want from you in this other person. It includes hiding and secret love affairs.
This is an intentional, rational choice that your partner chooses to love someone and chooses to hurt you by letting you know they have someone else and wanting you to feel pain from it for a long time until you give up the marriage.
The most painful of all is the recurring and long term ones kind of infidelity that seems to interfere with the normal loving relationship of two couples.
And it just disrupts the normal cycle of behavior of the cheating spouse.
But how can you handle cheating like this if this happens to you.
Most couples, after fighting would necessarily come to terms with the help of a therapist.
But what if your partner is as stubborn as a rock and does not want to undergo treatment?
How will you survive this affair and tackle this extramarital affair?
In handling a cheating spouse, realize and do not deny that you have been hurt. Accept this pain. As this is part of who we are as loving emotional creatures. We are really destined to feel hurt. When you deny, you are only making your subconscious suffer and denial will not do you any good but will eat you up until you will lose all hope of recovering your marriage back, So always stick with the truth, no matter how painful it can be.
You must at all cost. Follow your gut
Always follow your personal principles in assessing whether the partner deserves a second chance and deserve to be fought for.
Most often than not, our partners love us, it is just that a temporary fling may sway their hearts and minds into believing that love has found them once more in the arms of a new lover.
To handle this, you must do the thing you have done at the onset of your marriage. You must win them back.
But before you win them back, assess the crucial stage first.
Ask yourself, am I deserving of all of this? Why should this happen to me?
Do not ever throw a pity party at yourself because that is depressive and it is not helpful.
Instead look at the problem in a very realistic approach.
First tell yourself that you have contributed largely in investing your mind, soul body, time and energy into this marriage and then tell yourself whether you still like to keep this marriage. The important thing is to keep your hopes up. Try to save your marriage. Try to think of all the good things that has happened between the two of you that are truly not worth wasting.
Remember the good feelings in order to redeem that self-esteem and forget about the trauma of a bad memory where you caught your spouse cheating.
Then, learn to forgive. Human beings are not perfect. Be rational when forgiving. Always think about the possible reasons why your spouse committed this and if they ask for acceptance and forgiveness. Forgive them
What matters is you give them another shot and another chance. This time ensure to always have self-respect so that they won’t abuse your kindness. At the end of the day, forgiving your spouse is the initial way of coping up with the trauma of an affair.
This will make things easier for you and will make your partner redeem themselves. In the end, forgiveness is one way of coping up with trauma of an affair. So better have a solution than stick to grudges, because once you keep traumas and not face them, you are in for a trouble.